... currently preparing for the Buffalo Bills, it falls to me to send you their annual Christmas wish list. As you know, things haven't quite gone that well this year, but these gifts would really bolster the spirits of a disheartened team.

(As a reminder: thanks to the magic of video surveillance, Coach Belichick knows when you're sleeping, awake and violating elf labor laws. Capisce?)

1. A Pass Rush. Yes, Saint Nick, the team certainly could use one of these. In the past few weeks, they've made Drew Brees look god-like and Chad Henne look, well, competent.

Why, you may ask?

Because they had enough time to drop back in the pocket, look for receivers, complete a crossword, fill out their taxes (and they h...

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