... of West Virginia University, wishing to remain nameless for obvious reasons, combined with the president of the university, also anonymous, to announce the school's charter membership in a newly-minted athletic conference. 

"The ACT-17 Conference was formed as an alliance of institutions of...uh...higher learning left behind by the raid of the Big Ten Conference on the Big East," said a spokesperson for the Mountaineers.  "The league carries the name ACT-17 because it used to take a score of 17 on the ACT to get into WVU.  Now it's 21, I think, but the score may be lowered because of the recession."

The spokesperson, wearing buckskins and carrying a muzzle-loaded rifle, also added, "The Atlantic Coast Conference and t...

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