... person in the world with shopping left this late in the holiday season.

It's not that I procrastinate.  It's that there are about four million things that I would rather do in life than go Christmas shopping.

Running my foot over with a lawnmower, drinking bleach straight from the bottle, or cleaning out a port-a-potty all sound like more pleasant activities than dealing with hordes of coupon-fueled housewives fighting for the last copy of Guitar Hero on the shelf so they can further spoil their offspring into psychological trauma.

Dealing with the crowds of mindless lemmings is only part of the misery for me, though.  The stress of trying to figure out what to buy someone you hardly know is also coupled with the hol...

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