Cage Match to Determine Cleveland Browns QB Battle

Published on: 25th August, 2009

In an unprecedented move, new Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini will wage a no-holds barred cage match to determine his starting quarterback for this season. Muscle bound, third year golden boy QB Brady Quinn will battle towering incumbent starter Derek Anderson at an undisclosed location in the Cleveland area. Mangini believes that he ...

My Hate-Envy Relationship With Raider Nation

Published on: 24th August, 2009

About two weeks have passed since I innocently stepped into my first encounter with Raider Nation when I wrote an article entitled, Al Davis, Ebenezer Scrooge, Timothy Geithner, and Darth Vader.  The article focused on the hefty price Big Al paid for questionable 7th overall pick Darrius Heyward-Bey. Little did I know ...

NFL to Implement Mandatory Gender Testing

Published on: 21st August, 2009

According to my league mole, the NFL, in an attempt to stay ahead of the world wide "gender bender" craze in sports, will begin testing players for gender identification purposes effective immediately.   When I asked the mole why the NFL finds it necessary to test players based on gender ...

Michael Vicks’ for the Birds, Literally!

Published on: 20th August, 2009

Did anyone notice but me? Michael Vick went from being a Falcon to an Eagle, keeping his teams' logo in the majestic bird's of flight realm. hmmmm. Mere coincidence?  -OR- Just a great marketing move? We're not talking bird brains or chicken feed here, we are talking flying from one top notch feathered friend to ...

Miami’s Magic: Killer Bill, Two Chad’s and Pat

Published on: 18th August, 2009

One year ago, Bill Parcells and his staff came marching into Miami and completely re-structured the Dolphins. At that time, second year QB John Beck manned the ship for the Fins. Parcells proceeded to cleaned house faster than a hurricane making it's way through the South Florida panhandle. As a result, Beck and ...

Mr. Goodell, Please Blow Up the NFL Draft

Published on: 11th August, 2009

What if the NFL draft simply disappeared? The NFL draft started in 1936, probably as a result of an increase in the number of teams joining the league, and an effort to give new teams a chance to sign top talent, hence creating more competition and building the NFL brand.   The ...

My Answer to Raider Nation Regarding Heyward-Beys’ Contract

Published on: 10th August, 2009

I took a substantial amount of heat today from Raider Nation for riffing on Al Davis' spending ways in my article, "Al Davis, Ebenezer Scrooge, Tim Geithner, and Darth Vader."  Raider Nation has an inner passion that I respect. A few knuckle-headed comments came flying down from the upper deck from cranky Raider ...

Openly Gay in the NFL: Not a Matter of “If,” but “When”

Published on: 10th August, 2009

Coming soon to an NFL stadium near you.   Gay Pride. That's right folks. I will be very surprised if an active NFL player does not come out either this year or next. Will the NFL will accept him with open arms you may ask? You bet your ___ it will. Why?   It's all about doing ...

Al Davis, Ebenezer Scrooge, Timothy Geithner, and Darth Vader

Published on: 10th August, 2009

Al Davis appears to be setting the gold standard for the NFL this year. Are we watching a modern version of a "Christmas Carol" with Davis playing the part of enlightened Ebenezer Scrooge? Super agents like Drew Rosenhaus must be pinning up their stockings above the fireplace, because it sure looks like ...

Philip Rivers and the Bolts: It May Come Down to One More Comeback Win

Published on: 9th August, 2009

Hands down, Philip Rivers has become an elite NFL quarterback. Just take at look at these individual statistics from last season: TDs/Ints: 34 -11 Completion percentage: 65.3 Overall QB rating: 105.5 And to Philips' credit, he helped bring back the underachieving Chargers from the dead last season to get them into the playoffs, finishing ...

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