... analysis. I was going to try to be unbiased and point to the benefits and flaws of each team.

I didn't get very far.

It was only natural that I would, as an unapologetic homer, start with my team, the New England Patriots. After I looked at the Pats' roster and reviewed the preseason games, I looked around the rest of the league. I couldn’t find it in my heart to waste my time trying to think of something nice to say about any other team.

Long ago, my mother told me “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” With that sage advice, I have no choice but to speak about the Patriots' team and taunt the rest.

There are only a handful of teams that have the offensive p...

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