... head coach of the Dallas Cowboys:

Look into my eyes.

Deeper and deeper and deeper.

Repeat after me:

"I, Jerry Jones, will do whatever it takes to sign veteran wide receiver Marvin Harrison."

Harrison worked with Peyton Manning all those years, so you know he has to be good. Other teams are pursuing him, so you know he still has game.

Unlike Terrell Owens, Harrison doesn't whine all the time about getting the ball. In all the games I've seen him play, it's rare to see him drop a ball.

Such a strong, silent veteran would be great for mentoring Roy Williams and even Tony Romo.

Please sign Harrison before the Vikings beat you to it.

That is all.

...

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