... believe me? Read on, I'll feed you baby birds. —Both operate on the principal that sex sells: Seriously, is Halloween even for children anymore? Or wannabe playmates? —Obesity also sells: Which is more gluttonous, a bag of candy or a football helmet full of hot wings? —Both are polarizing: I've seen as many debates break out between Snicker and Butterfinger fans than between NFC North rivals. The comparisons don't stop there. In fact, you can compare each NFL team to a different Halloween candy. Don't believe me? Read on...

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